Session 1 "Gender Roles in Parenting"

August 17, 2024 - Saturday

Number of Participants: 3

Paternity Leave Becoming the Norm? Confronting the Ideal of Parenting

Recently, more fathers have been taking paternity leave, ranging from short periods of three days to longer stretches of up to a year. It seems that now about half of fathers are taking some form of paternity leave. While this is a positive change, there are still questions about whether fathers are effectively sharing caregiving responsibilities with mothers during this time.

Many fathers expect to build an ideal parent-child relationship during their leave, but in reality, the gap between expectations and reality often causes frustration. While it is true that breastfeeding, for example, is something only mothers can biologically do, this should not be a reason to place the overall burden of childcare and household duties solely on the mother. The paternity leave system exists to address such imbalances, enabling fathers to participate more actively in parenting. To truly encourage fathers to take on a more significant role in the family, couples should engage in specific discussions to explore caregiving methods that transcend traditional gender roles.

Rethinking the Term "Motherhood"

The term "motherhood" might be used to clarify the caregiving and parenting responsibilities that mothers provide, with the intention of making these roles accessible to others as well. However, this term also carries the risk of reinforcing the stereotype that "it’s ultimately the mother’s job," even while it aims to liberate mothers.

For instance, when male same-sex couples are parenting, the absence of a "mother" is sometimes viewed as problematic, based on the stereotype that the role of "mother" is inherently tied to a specific gender. While terms like "housework" or "care work" help broaden the recognition of caregiving within the home, the idea of restricting these roles to a specific gender remains deeply ingrained.

Of course, outsourcing household chores to professionals is an option, and it can certainly lighten the burden on families. However, this alone does not resolve gender-related issues within the couple.

For example, even if a childcare worker happens to be male, simply delegating care to someone else doesn’t eliminate traditional gender roles. While professional support is important, it is not sufficient on its own. To truly overcome gender roles, partners must collaboratively reflect on the nature of "care work" and work together to establish a new form of "household labor" that transcends traditional gender roles.

Parenting is not solely the mother’s job. By involving fathers and others more actively in childcare, we can create a richer family environment that is not bound by gender.

Reflecting on the Division of Care and the Diversification of Values

As sexual diversity becomes more widely recognized, there has also been a significant shift in the values held by both men and women. In the past, it was taken for granted that people would follow the gender roles imposed by society, but now individual values are respected, and life choices have become more varied.

In the past, societal values and individual values were aligned, but now they increasingly diverge. For example, the relationship between patriarchy and gender is deeply rooted, and there was a time when the eldest son’s wife was expected to care for her in-laws. This caregiving was seen as a way for the wife to be accepted as a member of the family. When societal and individual values are aligned, people can find fulfillment in care work, allowing them to care for their parents without question.

However, today, more people prioritize individual values over societal ones, leading to a growing discomfort with traditional gender stereotypes. We are moving toward a time when people can choose a way of life that is not constrained by gender. I hope to see a society where caregiving is shared by everyone, creating a supportive community.

Parenting by Same-Sex Couples: Gender-Neutral Division of Care

Same-sex couples are sometimes referred to as "husband-husband" or "wife-wife." In these relationships, is care work equally divided? Some people might ask a same-sex couple, "Who plays the male role?" but this question is based on the assumption that parenting involves traditional gender roles.

For example, if one partner who is good at cooking prepares the meals, it doesn’t mean they’re playing the "female role." Dividing care work based on strengths and weaknesses has nothing to do with the traditional "male role" or "female role."

In heterosexual relationships, too, it’s important for partners to discuss their strengths and weaknesses and divide responsibilities accordingly. However, it’s ideal for couples to occasionally set aside these considerations and freely support each other in care work.

Future Challenges

Through this discussion, it’s clear that the issue of gender roles in parenting cannot be solved by simply stating, "Fathers should also parent."

Specifically, the following points seem important:

1. Reconsidering the Use of Paternity Leave: Create opportunities for fathers to learn and think about how to share caregiving responsibilities with mothers during their leave. It’s not just about encouraging fathers to take paternity leave but also about discussing how they will participate in parenting.

   
   

2. Redefining the Term "Motherhood": This term should not be seen as the sole responsibility of mothers but rather as a role that the entire society should support. By doing so, we aim to make household and childcare responsibilities more equitable within the family.

   
   

3. Overcoming Gender Bias: Overcoming gender bias in childcare and household work requires education and awareness-raising efforts. Society as a whole needs to change, not just within individual families. I hope that this book club will serve as a catalyst for understanding and initiating change.

   
   

Going forward, I hope to continue discussing roles in the home and exploring concrete ways to overcome gender roles.

Danshiro

References:

1. "Ethics of Care" by Yashiro OkanoThis book raises concerns about the low social and political valuation of care work, often undertaken by women and marginalized individuals, and proposes a new societal framework centered on care.

   
   

   About the Author:Yashiro Okano is a Japanese political scientist widely known for her research on feminist theory, political thought, and the ethics of care. Born in 1967, she is currently a professor at Doshisha University’s Faculty of Law.

   
   

2. "Fathers in the Home Will Change Japan" by Kohei MaedaThis book uses specific episodes and data to explain how fathers’ active involvement in caregiving and childcare can promote gender equality within the family, which in turn advances gender equality in the workplace and society as a whole.

   
   

   About the Author:Kohei Maeda is a Japanese researcher specializing in gender studies and sociology, known for his research on men’s participation in childcare and gender equality within families. He is affiliated with an NPO focused on protecting children’s rights.

Next Book Club Reading:"That’s a Family, This is a Family: Towards a Society that Values the Individual" by Mizuho Fukushima