Session 2 "On Diversifying Families and Children's Rights"
- Table Manners
- Oct 2, 2024
- 5 min read
Updated: Dec 3, 2024

Sunday, September 29, 2024
Second Meeting of the Association for Overcoming Gender Roles
"On Diversifying Families and Children's Rights"
Number of Participants: 3
Becoming a Family? The Reality of Adoption in the Family Register
In the Japanese family register, a child adopted through ordinary adoption is labeled as “adopted child,” while a biological child is listed as “first son” or “first daughter.” There are two types of adoption: ordinary adoption, in which the biological parents retain parental rights, and special adoption, in which the biological parents lose parental rights. Whether to raise the adopted child as one’s own biological child or to openly communicate that they are adopted varies by family and era. Some families hide the adoption by spending the pregnancy period elsewhere, but with time, more families are choosing to be open about it, as it seems to be easier for everyone to live that way. It prompts us to reflect on how the way adoption is listed in the family register impacts the concept of family.
In Japan, same-sex marriage is still not recognized. However, some same-sex couples choose to adopt a younger partner to share the same family name and be included in the same family register. Interestingly, in such cases, the partner is still listed as an “adopted child” in the family register. However, unless legally married, a same-sex couple cannot adopt a child through special adoption. (In ordinary adoption, one person can adopt a child independently.) Thus, many same-sex couples who wish to raise children often turn to the foster care system. However, with the foster care system, the parental relationship is not recorded in the family register, and the biological parents retain their parental rights.
Infertility and Family: Differences in Systems
In some states in the U.S., as well as in Greece, Russia, Georgia, and Ukraine, surrogacy is legally recognized as a new way to form a family. While this can be an option for couples struggling with infertility, concerns about the welfare of the child have also been raised. In Sweden, surrogacy is not allowed, with a strong emphasis on the child’s right to know their biological parents. Instead, there are robust laws protecting children’s rights, such as requiring sperm donors to disclose their identities and mandating child support payments. Many couples are exploring various options such as infertility treatments, IVF, and egg freezing, but the choices available to families facing infertility are greatly influenced by the legal systems of their countries.
Support Systems and Communities for Single Mothers
Support for single mothers varies by municipality. While there are legal protections in place to help ensure their livelihood, it is important to utilize these systems effectively. For instance, some mothers may be entitled to child support payments but fail to receive them due to errors by the local government. Whether or not one has the necessary knowledge can determine if they are able to protect themselves.
Single motherhood can result from many causes, not just divorce. In custody battles, it is sometimes claimed that parental rights are used as a bargaining tool, where the parent may pursue custody not for the love of the child, but to forgo child support or alimony payments. There are even cases where individuals, despite not being legally single, omit the father’s name from the maternal-child handbook in order to receive single mother benefits, while in reality living with a partner. These actions defy legal and ethical standards. Though referred to collectively as "single mothers," their circumstances vary widely. Some skillfully navigate the system, some are unaware and miss out on benefits, while others may even abuse the system.
While it is one option to use municipal support systems to stabilize one’s life, changes in the law cannot always be relied upon. This is why connecting with communities that support child-rearing is crucial. By sharing problems and engaging in discussions with these communities, it may be possible to build a better environment.
Overcoming the Stereotypes of Family
Everyone holds an ideal image of what a family should be. When we compare ourselves to stereotypical portrayals of the "perfect mom" or "ideal dad," we may end up feeling inadequate. How can we free ourselves from these exaggerated family stereotypes? As a nation, Japan is trying to combat declining birth rates by introducing policies such as tuition-free university education for third-born children (starting in 2025), thereby guiding the country in a certain direction. However, even if the system is aligned with an ideal family image, it may still be difficult for individuals to create a family that fits their own vision. Systems alone cannot solve the underlying issues, but it is essential that individuals feel free to envision their own roles as mothers or fathers.
Sometimes, an ideal image of what it means to be an eldest son is imposed on children. It's not uncommon to hear phrases like “because you’re the eldest son” or “because you’re a boy,” which serve to conclude discussions. Assigning the role of eldest son can sometimes save the effort of dialogue, but failing to engage in such conversations risks confining individuals to preconceived notions of masculinity or femininity. The era of clear-cut roles where men worked and women handled housework has ended. Now, it’s essential to have dialogue that allows everyone to freely choose their roles. We need to move beyond "because you're a man" or "because you're a woman" and towards "because you are you" in our discussions, in order to overcome gender roles.
Future Challenges
Through this discussion, we learned about various international systems supporting diverse families, emphasizing the need to establish laws that prioritize children's welfare. At the same time, beyond legal reforms, we must consider how communities can work together to face the challenges of supporting diverse families and children.
The following points seem particularly important:
- Expansion of Rights and Options for Same-Sex Couples
Although same-sex marriage is not yet recognized in Japan, some same-sex couples use adoption or foster care. There is a need for legal reform to ensure same-sex couples can establish stable legal parent-child relationships.
- Legislation on Infertility Treatment
As laws regarding infertility treatments and surrogacy vary across countries, it is essential to establish systems that prioritize the welfare of the child.
- Awareness Shift on Family Stereotypes
It is necessary to foster a culture where individuals can create their own ideal family models without being constrained by traditional family stereotypes or roles. This requires a societal shift in awareness and ongoing dialogue about gender roles.
We will continue to pursue dialogue on overcoming gender roles.
Summary: Danshiro
References:
"This Family, That Family: Toward a Society that Values the Individual"
Written by Mizuho Fukushima
Chapter 3: Concerning Children
This book explores the theme of family diversity and advocates for a society that values gender equality and respects the individual, with explanations of laws and systems.
About the Author:
Mizuho Fukushima is a Japanese politician and lawyer who advocates for gender equality and human rights. As the leader of the Social Democratic Party, she promotes policies that protect the rights of vulnerable and minority groups. Her writings call for societal change and the recognition of diverse family forms.
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